I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
