hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
