meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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