I will die if light touches me.
Buhtt sex?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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