Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Randomize
