Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
