i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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