i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
