tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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