stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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