If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
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