I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
