Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
