And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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