When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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