dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
