How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
