just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I had to cum in my sink.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
