Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Randomize
