I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
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