just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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