Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
