Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
