I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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