the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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