also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
