Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
