I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
