I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
