So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
