They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
