I just made out with a guy for $7.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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