I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
