my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
