I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
