yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
