Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i drank out of a bidet.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
