Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
The uberlube is also flammable
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
