There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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