It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy