Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
