Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
