do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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