im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
