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Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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