grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
