I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize