I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
