bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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