dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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