He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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