I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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