Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You have to summon your inner elephant
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
