she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I am one with the molecules
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
