He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
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I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
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Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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