upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize