help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
