The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
