Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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