Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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